Lived the Dream in 2013

So much can happen in a year, and this year, so much did. In 2013, I took chances, made mistakes, repeated some of them & learned from others, survived a badly broken heart, said some challenging goodbyes & some promising hellos, made memories that will last a lifetime, had nights (and some days) I don’t remember at all, made promises to myself – even kept some, and above all, I started someday. In the spirit of moving forward, I’d like to look back, just for a fleeting moment, because this has been a caterpillar-into-a-butterfly kind of year for me, setting me up to flutter freely into 2014. So here it is, a look at 2013 before I move on into the next stage of metamorphosis and transformation.

In 2013, I…

• …ended a bad relationship with someone else and started a good 1 with myself.
• …got by with a little help from my friends & family. (OK fine, maybe *a lot* of help…)
• …started taking care of my 90-pound bulldog/best friend all on my own, & think I’m doing a damn good job of it!
• …saw a counselor (or as I call her, an emotional wizard) on a weekly basis for the entire year: Stigmas be damned, self-care is *so* important!
• …presented at 3 major conferences in my field & facilitated webinars for over 2,000 participants. (Yes, people actually listened to my ideas!)
• …went on some really bad dates, and some pretty good dates too.
• …became co-proprietor of the top-floor lounge at the 4837 Club, a magical little place called “T&A’s” (Maybe you’ve been?)
• …made some epically bad decisions, and some slightly better ones!
• …took trips to Hotlanta, Cancun, Miami, Western NY, Boston, La Crosse-WI, & the Upper Valley of NH/VT, where I now live.
• …taught the 1st college course I fully designed from start to finish using some highly experimental learning strategies, & feel like I nailed it! (That or I just had an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime group of students, the brilliant, bright, curious, & self-motivated kind teachers wish for.)
• …moved 1,000 miles away from home in search of a fresh start & new adventure, to a place I had spent under 48 hours in before making the move.
• …left a job I loved for a job I am falling in love with & being challenged by every day in new ways.
• …started someday.

So all that said, it’s time to look ahead, and I’m so beyond ready to stop looking back. 2014 will be the year I…

• …celebrate my 30th birthday, with 30 memories, milestones, & adventures to carry me into the next decade of my life!
• …stop giving so many fucks about things that don’t matter, and start giving more about things (or more likely, people, goals, values, & ideas) that do.
• …live alone for the 1st time ever & learn to embrace my inner introvert. (She’s in there somewhere, I think…)
• …have 100 happy days in a row! Maybe even 101, but let’s not get too crazy.
• …start looking on the outside the way I feel on the inside: strong, radiant, beautiful, alive!
• …as we say out here, live free or die! (Hopefully just live free.)
• …finally feel ready to share my life with someone again – whenever or if ever it happens – and I’m truly at peace with whatever outcome or timeline.
• …will celebrate the love & marriages of some *amazing* friends & family.
• …*might* start a doctoral program, or at least apply.
• …am going to have a break-out career year! Or if nothing else, be very happy doing what I love, alongside brilliant colleagues, at a place that values innovative teaching & learning as much as I do.
• …learn to be, challenge, & accept myself more than I already am today.

In 2013, I “lived the dream,” or at least that’s what I convinced myself what I was doing until I actually started to believe it, at first as a way to get through each day, then to have adventures and memories to look forward to, then to live out dreams and dream bigger. A year later, I’m starting 2014 with hope and high spirits. At this exact time last year, I thought the world was ending, because mine the way I knew it was. But what I didn’t realize at the time was that it had to end for my new life to begin and for someday to start, and now, I wouldn’t go back to the way things were if I could. So cheers to a new year, new beginnings, and a serene 2014!